Saturday, July 23, 2011

Some Wonderfully described definitions

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.


LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.


CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece


TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!


DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage


CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.


CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.


SMILE:
A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:
A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.


YAWN:
The only time when some married men
ever get to open their mouth.


ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.


COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done
together.


EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes!


ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.


PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead.


DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.


OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.


OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER
says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.


MISER:
A person who lives poor so that
he can die RICH!


FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.


CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other,
unless he gets caught.


BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.


POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections
and your Confidence Later.


DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!


CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper,
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!